CORPORATE CASUALTY GYM SHORTS
CORPORATE CASUALTY GYM SHORTS
Regular price
$45.00
Regular price
Sale price
$45.00
Unit price
per
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THE VIBE 🤘
Work-life balance is dead, and you're wearing its remains. The Corporate Casualty Gym Shorts feature a suit-wearing skeleton graphic and red glitched Chillxiety logo that bleeds burnout energy. The final touch? The words “unfocused, under-achieving, lazy” etched like a performance review from hell. These shorts don’t run — they spiral.
TECHNICAL SPECS 🏋️
Color: Black Hole
100% moisture-wicking recycled polyester
Two-way stretch for anxious pacing or rage jogging
Elastic waistband for when you’re clenching through meetings or meltdowns
UPF50+ protection — because even self-loathing needs sun coverage
Mid-thigh fit for peak comfort with just enough edge
MENTAL CHECK-IN 🧠
If “doing your best” looks like surviving in a hoodie and a blazer, you’re not alone. These shorts are for those who answer Slack messages from the floor and spiral with purpose. Welcome to the uniform of the emotionally exhausted and professionally over it.
STYLING CUES 🔊
WEAR IT LIKE: Your boss’s worst nightmare. A burnout survivor who knows productivity is a scam. Someone who replies to work emails with memes and muscle memory.
SUSTAINABILITY STANCE 🌱
Made from 100% recycled polyester — no new harm, just recycled chaos. Because burnout shouldn’t burn the planet.
COMMUNITY TAG 🤘
Tag @chillxietybrand and use #CorporateCollapseCore when you’re dressing for the performance review in your head.
FIT GUIDE 📏
Athletic cut with mental wiggle room. True to size with extra stretch for existential crises.
CARE INSTRUCTIONS 💧
Machine wash cold. Tumble dry low. Do not dry clean. It’s already emotionally clean.
LIMITED DROP ⚡
For the mentally taxed and tactfully disengaged. This drop self-destructs soon.
Work-life balance is dead, and you're wearing its remains. The Corporate Casualty Gym Shorts feature a suit-wearing skeleton graphic and red glitched Chillxiety logo that bleeds burnout energy. The final touch? The words “unfocused, under-achieving, lazy” etched like a performance review from hell. These shorts don’t run — they spiral.
TECHNICAL SPECS 🏋️
Color: Black Hole
100% moisture-wicking recycled polyester
Two-way stretch for anxious pacing or rage jogging
Elastic waistband for when you’re clenching through meetings or meltdowns
UPF50+ protection — because even self-loathing needs sun coverage
Mid-thigh fit for peak comfort with just enough edge
MENTAL CHECK-IN 🧠
If “doing your best” looks like surviving in a hoodie and a blazer, you’re not alone. These shorts are for those who answer Slack messages from the floor and spiral with purpose. Welcome to the uniform of the emotionally exhausted and professionally over it.
STYLING CUES 🔊
WEAR IT LIKE: Your boss’s worst nightmare. A burnout survivor who knows productivity is a scam. Someone who replies to work emails with memes and muscle memory.
SUSTAINABILITY STANCE 🌱
Made from 100% recycled polyester — no new harm, just recycled chaos. Because burnout shouldn’t burn the planet.
COMMUNITY TAG 🤘
Tag @chillxietybrand and use #CorporateCollapseCore when you’re dressing for the performance review in your head.
FIT GUIDE 📏
Athletic cut with mental wiggle room. True to size with extra stretch for existential crises.
CARE INSTRUCTIONS 💧
Machine wash cold. Tumble dry low. Do not dry clean. It’s already emotionally clean.
LIMITED DROP ⚡
For the mentally taxed and tactfully disengaged. This drop self-destructs soon.
Size guide
| WAIST (inches) | HIPS (inches) | |
| S | 31 ½ | 38 ⅝ |
| M | 33 ⅛ | 40 ¼ |
| L | 36 ¼ | 43 ¼ |
| XL | 39 ⅜ | 46 ½ |
| 2XL | 42 ½ | 49 ⅝ |
| 3XL | 45 ¾ | 52 ¾ |
